LOST... like the TV show. Only not at all.

I've been thinking a lot recently about the whole concept of being lost.  Here in Geneva, I have found myself lost on more than one occasion.  You know the feeling... you look around, nothing looks familiar, your pulse starts racing, and you revert back to those moments in your childhood when you were sure you could handle venturing away from your parents in the department store and then suddenly they are nowhere to be found?  Even with map in hand, I sometimes can't figure out which way is north.  I will walk along for a bit, then realize I am going in the completely wrong direction.  And so it goes...

But then I got to thinking about it some more... and in the grand scheme of things, can I ever TRULY be lost?  And I mean this even without the help of my iPhone--which I unfortunately don't have here.  The fact is--I know exactly where I am.  I'm in Geneva.  In Switzerland.  In Europe.  On the planet Earth.  In the universe.  So even if I may not quite know all the landmarks yet or have trouble knowing which way is north, I know I'll eventually find my way.  Comforting.

All of this reminds me of Le Renard in Le Petit Prince...   Le Renard explains to Le Petit Prince that he needs to be tamed if they are to be friends, that in this way they will become unique to each other:

- Qui es-tu ? dit le petit prince. Tu es bien joli...
- Je suis un renard, dit le renard.
- Viens jouer avec moi, lui proposa le petit prince. Je suis tellement triste...
- Je ne puis pas jouer avec toi, dit le renard. Je ne suis pas apprivoisé.
- Ah! pardon, fit le petit prince.
Mais, après réflexion, il ajouta:
- Qu'est-ce que signifie "apprivoiser" ?
- Tu n'es pas d'ici, dit le renard, que cherches-tu ?
- Je cherche les hommes, dit le petit prince. Qu'est-ce que signifie "apprivoiser" ?
- Les hommes, dit le renard, ils ont des fusils et ils chassent. C'est bien gênant ! Ils élèvent aussi des poules. C'est leur seul intérêt. Tu cherches des poules ?

- Non, dit le petit prince. Je cherche des amis. Qu'est-ce que signifie "apprivoiser" ?
- C'est une chose trop oubliée, dit le renard. Ça signifie "créer des liens..."
- Créer des liens ?
- Bien sûr, dit le renard. Tu n'es encore pour moi qu'un petit garçon tout semblable à cent mille petits garçons. Et je n'ai pas besoin de toi. Et tu n'as pas besoin de moi non plus. Je ne suis pour toi qu'un renard semblable à cent mille renards. Mais, si tu m'apprivoises, nous aurons besoin l'un de l'autre. Tu seras pour moi unique au monde. Je serai pour toi unique au monde...


Instead of applying these words to a person, I'm thinking of how they apply to place.  Two weeks ago, this city meant nothing to me.  The jet d'eau was just a fountain, the streets all looked the same, nothing about this place was special.  But little by little, as I spend more and more time here, I will tame the city and the city will tame me.  It will be imbued with meaning, unique, as no other city can be.  I certainly won't be getting lost any more by the end of my ten months here (I hope :)).  And I'll recall those first moments of fear.... and smile.  As Le Renard explained his greatest secret, "On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur.  L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."  So far I've only been looking with my eyes... Here's to "l'apprivoisement" and the many steps that have to take place in between in order to see rightly.

Pasta, Pinot Noir, Pensées... Patience.

Following my delicious dinner of pasta and pinot noir, I have some time to record my thoughts about the past couple of days.  I forgot just how much of a whirlwind it is to get settled into a new home for a year!  Thursday was a bit of a recovery day.  I did a few errands--got a few grocery/kitchen items, got my demi-tarif card for the train, and my first snafu of the trip occurred.  My debit card got refused at the train station, so I went to an ATM machine, thinking it must have been an error in reading the card.  And then... THE MACHINE ATE MY CARD.  SWALLOWED IT WHOLE, WITH NO HOPE OF RETURNING IT.  Pas de panique, I went home, called the UW Credit Union from my computer and sorted the whole thing out (even though I had put a travel alert on my card, due to a large sum, they had put a hold on my account!  arrrrrgh!  the replacement card should be arriving in the next week).  A bit of a bummer, but I knew I would get my fellowship in cash the next day, so not a huge deal.

On the whole though, I was having a bit of a sad and lonely day  until I went to a practice for the Cercle Choral de Genève, a group of about 80 singers who remind me of my choir back at home--welcoming, a bit silly, not afraid to use a finger to indicate where the pitch should be on an imaginary scale suspended in the air. :)  The walk there took about 45 minutes (since I got semi-lost twice--more on the whole concept of being lost later!).  When I arrived they knew exactly who I was, were eager to try pronouncing my name à l'américaine (I LOVE hearing my name pronounced by French speakers--there's something about those long vowels that proposes a challenge!), and directed me immediately to the Alto section.  This choir is different from the one back home in that they memorize their songs.  This definitely helps with working on pitch!  We practiced a few other songs, and then we took a break.  During the pause, the Présidente of the Chorale introduced the two new members: me and a woman named Sandrine.  I couldn't stop smiling the whole time, and I thought of my first choir practice with Jen, three years ago. I kinda had the same feeling.  These are good people :) The practice ended with a little mingling over wine and snacks, and I really enjoyed speaking French with them all.  The only difficult thing is that the Chorale meets 30 minutes away from where I live!  The Director was gracious enough to drive me home, but I need to master the public transportation options to get there myself.  Even with public transport, it will probably take around 30 minutes to get there.  I need to decide if it is worth the commute and try a few other groups closer to where I live, but I think it just might be worth it. 

Today was the séance d'accueil, or orientation, for international students who are here as part of a departmental exchange.  After being bombarded with information (and discovering I had a 2pm meeting that I did not know about!), we were served coffee and croissants and spent time introducing ourselves to one another.  The majority of students I met were there as part of the ERASMUS program--second or third-year university students, which makes me ancient by comparison. :)  I did meet a girl from Johns Hopkins University who is a doctoral student, and we enjoyed chatting about our research.  All of these introductions made me think back to my first year abroad--how much I absolutely loved it and how far I've come since then... I'm a lot less frightened by these types of situations now, a lot less concerned about my French (even with all its rusty edges), a lot less reticent to ask questions when I need to!  After this first meeting, I had to get the first installment of my fellowship--in cold hard cash.  Admittedly, I felt a bit like a baller walking around town with a 1'000 CHF note.  And then some.  Not a practice I plan on cultivating.

With that administrative detail taken care of, I went back to Uni Mail and ran into my new American buddy, Matt.  We had lunch at a great pizza place and agreed that we were both a bit overwhelmed.  Then it was on to the next orientation meeting for the Faculté des lettres, where we met our advisor and talked about course planning.  Just before the meeting, I crossed paths with Patrick Chappuis--pretty much the only person I knew prior to getting here.  It was a complete and utter coincidence.  The world is so SMALL!  And he's not even at the university anymore!  He just happened to be there taking his students to see the university.  Amazing.

As for the orientation meeting, about five minutes in and after some brief introductory comments, Professeur Tinguely told me I was free to leave, since the remaining information was not really pertinent for me.  I was the only one who got dismissed.  Everyone else is doing a certificat.  I still have the option to take courses--and I plan to!  "Langage des médias (arabe)," a course I've ALWAYS wanted to take and that isn't offered at the UW, and a course for exchange students called "Activité théâtrale: du texte au spectacle" where we'll be reading theater and going to see productions in town.  Those classes both meet only once a week, and the rest of the time will be dedicated purely to the dissertation.  Sunday will DEFINITELY be a writing day, too, since most everything is closed.  My goal is to write a chapter over the course of three months, so by the time I'm done here--three chapters down, only the introduction and conclusion to go! 

Freed from the meeting, I went to a stationery store bought a $9.00 notebook (yes, you read that right!  but I need a notebook that has a larger surface area than an iPod!).  They didn't have change for a 1000 franc bill, so I proceeded promptly to La Poste and opened my bank account.  And then went back for the notebook.  (Just kidding.  Fortunately, I had exactly the right amount of coins to pay for the notebook.)  The last errand of the day was getting my monthly bus pass and more passport photos.  Next week, I'll master the TPG.

 The biggest lesson from all of these things?  Patience.  There are often more steps than anticipated to accomplish a task.  Les commencements sont toujours difficiles.  I've been here less than a week, and I'm already getting a better feel for the city.  The only really major errand left is the permis de séjour, which I'll take care of on Monday.  Classes and writing begin in full effect on October 1st.  Practicing patience until then... with the process and with myself as I get acclimated. :)

Bien arrivée... come what may!

I have been in Geneva for less than 48 hours, and I am happy to report that the flight over went without incident.  Letters to Juliet and L'Arnacoeur were the two in-flight movies I enjoyed (I love Romain Duris!), and my neighbor's dad offered me some sour Skittles and Starbust to further my enjoyment of the flight.  I got to London, where I awaited my next flight to Geneva, nervous about having to either get an expensive taxi or navigate the train system and walk with my copious amounts of luggage to my new home.  The decision was made for me when I found out that only one suitcase had made it on the plane (the heavier one!).  This was actually great news because 1) I had dealt with lost luggage before in France, so no big deal, I was a seasoned veteran on that, and 2) This helped me make my decision about how to get to the Foyer International pour Jeunes Filles!  With about 40 pounds less to weigh me down, I found the train station and then hauled my luggage to my quintessential Swiss apartment (aside from the no male visitors thing!).  My studio is AWESOME--kitchenette, bathroom, plenty of closet space, a sweet desk (which I anticipate will inspire some great dissertation writing), a balcony (which I anticipate will inspire some great dissertation writing distraction) and a bed that can sleep all 5'9" of me.  :)  Pictures for your viewing pleasure are below.

The woman who runs the residence has been such a huge help--she advised me on where to eat for cheap, gave me directions to the closest SwissCom to get my new cell phone, and even loaned me a hairdryer for the year--no purchase necessary! :)  Aside from that, she's been very motherly, in a good way, and I'm looking forward to meeting the other girls who live here on Friday for our first group meeting.

My French is rusty, but the good news is I think I'll get along just fine.  UniGe has cours d'appui for French, and I intend to take one to improve my spoken expression.  The first gentleman I spoke to at the cell phone store couldn't place my accent, and the second one I spoke to at a different cell phone store asked me if I had lived in France before, since I couldn't have simply "just arrived" given how well I spoke.  You can guess which gentleman got my business. :)

Other snafus and cultural frustrations?

In spite of my great French at SwissCom, when I installed the SIM card (not something they do for you here, like they do in the U.S.!), it was set to the German language.  After some coaching with my good friends AMA who speaks German and Carina who IS German, I fumbled through and found the SIM language setting.

I went to the grocery store, located all the items I needed (GREAT! NOT TOO EXPENSIVE!) and promptly felt like an imbecile when the cashier told me that I needed to weigh the produce.  :)  She was very understanding and even ran over to help me as I muddled through.  The other customers in the check-out line took it well, too.  The guy behind me must have been American because he said, "Don't worry, it happens to everybody." Whew.  At least I didn't start a riot.

I also checked out the bank to see about opening an account, but alas--no can do, until I have my student ID from the university.  Unfortunately, I won't get that until our séance d'accueil on Friday.  Until then, I'm working on locating a bike to get around town and exploring the town.

This evening I tried out the Geneva Runners group--I met a few people, but didn't go for the whole run, preferring instead to return and meander through (read: got a little lost) the jardin botanique.  I'll need to go on a few solo runs before I'm up to their pace.

All in all, a pretty good day, given it's only Day Two.  I can't believe I'm here and this is the life I'm living!  Lots of changes and new things to come in the next few weeks!  And I'll continue to update you all here.

Work vs. Play... Oisiveté à éviter?

So this past week or so my thoughts have turned to the idea of leisure.  How much work is the appropriate amount to be happy?  How much leisure is enough to drive you to want to work?  How does this vary from individual to individual, from person to person?

Take myself for instance... I do my most productive work when I'm busy, busy, busy.  Or, even if my work isn't at it's best, I ENJOY feeling busy, since it gives me a sense of purpose.  I start to feel restless if I'm idling around the house for too long, maybe because  I sometimes (though more recently less so!) define myself in terms of what I DO (and if I'm idling around the house, I'm doing NOTHING, ergo, I AM nothing).  In Madison, what I did was very concrete--I worked at the FBI office at least 20 hours a week, I volunteered at Domestic Abuse Intervention Services, I worked events at L'Etoile, and I served and bartended at Bellini. Frisbee Monday-Thursday rounded out the list (with occasional misses for things like Concerts on the Square or a birthday festa), or yoga/running/dancing if frisbee wasn't in season.  Oh, and throw in working on my dissertation in there somewhere (right now, that is the work I am AVOIDING). 

Don't get me wrong--I also enjoy taking naps and hitting the beach (or maybe both at the same time, since I am a multi-tasker :)), but too much of anything is a bad thing.  Too much work?  Makes Mary a dull girl.  Too much play?  Makes Mary a bore. This translates to my academic ideology as well--the idea of reading French literature for the rest of my life and writing academic articles about it that will simply gather dust in some journal on a back shelf in the library, well, strikes me as my anti-life-dream realized.  I like my academic work to be productive and serve some kind of purpose, too.  French literature does have its place in the world--it opens minds, introduces people to new forms of clarity in language, it expresses things in ways that English or other languages cannot--and it's just beautiful.  Its functionality isn't just in its beauty though... Jonah Lehrer talks about how Proust's literature anticipated major leaps in neuroscience and the study of memory.  It can unite, divide, provoke, or bore (though RARELY, as a Francophile :)).  

The thing is, all of those work obligations are also fun for me (at least most of the time).  Maybe the key is to find the kind of job that drives you to work, fulfills your passion.  That's why I came to graduate school in the first place.  Two quotes heavily influenced my decision and choice of field:

1.  Gil Bailie, "Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is more people who have come alive."

Things that make me come alive?  Foreign languages, especially French; meeting new people; helping others...

2.  Paolo Coelho, "You'll never be able to escape from your heart.  So it's best to listen to what it has to say."

A nagging sensation haunted me a lot when I was working at Kirkland and Ellis.... what was I DOING there?  I slogged through the LSAT and hated every minute of preparation.  That didn't bode well for law school.  The brightest days there were when I was correcting translations from an outside firm.  And then--I went to a concert by Padam at the French Embassy.  Rien à voir avec le travail des études supérieures... But the next day, when I was headed in to the office to put in some (non-)quality OT, and the band just happened to descend at my metro stop as I was getting on?  I just didn't think that was coincidence.  And I couldn't be happier with my decision... I'm not sure if my ultimate stop on the job train will be a professorship in a university (a lot depends on the job market and how picky I am geographically), but these past five years (and I'm sure the remaining year and a half to come!) have been thoroughly enjoyable.  I like what I do!  And that in itself is something...

The past two weeks at home have been about relaxing as much as possible before dissertation writing goes in to overdrive!  The funny thing is... I needed to take on a side translation job while I was here, or I would have gone crazy.  Fortunately, I have not!  And have even begun to enjoy the vacation.  Nine days left to squeeze out every ounce of leisure. :)

So enough about me, how about some of those questions about OTHER people and cultures?  That will come in the next post.